Schools Over, I’m Terrified

As the end of my undergraduate academic career is nearing a close, a whirlwind of emotions are running through me. The first feeling I’ve been experiencing is excitement. Right now, at this point in my life, I can do anything I want, It’s like Choose Your Own Adventure and I can write my story. In an ideal situation I would pack up and travel through Europe then maybe spend some time in South America until I run out of money then come home to an awesome staff job at an online publication. Of course, none of that is really happening, but if you have any extra money you want to donate to the cause or you’re an editor and want to hire me, I’ll take anything I can get.

Secondly, I am scared to death of school actually ending. When school ends so does most of the stability in my life, at least until I find a job. For the last 17 years or so I’ve woken up everyday, gotten a shower, had breakfast, and gone to school. School is a safe zone where all my friends live, professors feed me knowledge (usually things I don’t care about), and I know the 5 best places to get a sandwich for lunch. When school ends will there be any structure left to my life? Will I crumble into someone who has no idea what they are doing? Where will I find that turkey and cheese hoagie I adore so much? I wake up every morning worrying about these very things.

Thirdly, with school ending, I need to find out exactly where I want to be in the world. I live in Philadelphia now, and pretty much love it, but let’s be real… I’m 22 (23 in a like 3 months) and have a hard time imagining myself in the same city for very much longer. So, this is where it gets even scarier than losing the structure of school. Do I move home to the boonies with my family and save some money while I apply for jobs in other cities? Or Do I stay in Philadelphia and work as a server until I find a more stable income? Along with that option comes the fear of being a server for the rest of my life. So, unless I find that staff job stat, I feel like I’m in a losing fight.

All of these crazy, scary thoughts are constantly weighing on me. What do I do? I drink some coffee and read the news, trying to take this all a day at time. Seriously, though, if you have advice please lay it on me.



Filed under crazy

Smells Like Christmas

I finally watched Paper Heart this morning. I seriously cried so much while watching, but only because it is  just so freaking cute. I particularly loved this song:

I also loved the last scene, which I’ve been unable to find anywhere on the Internets.

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That Quote

“If I’m going to be anything more than average, if anyone’s going to remember me, then I need to go further in everything: in art, in life, in everything they think is real: morality, immorality, good, bad, I, we, have to smash that to pieces, we have to go beyond that, we have to be brave. no limit.”

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This Morning…

Whiskeytown is blaring through my speakers. I love Ryan Adams and everything, but Whiskeytown was him at his best.

I wish I could have seen them.

“Well, excuse me if I break my own heart tonight. After all it is mine… Can I have it back sometime?”

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Janelle Monáe is Fantastic

She is going to be at Johnny Brenda’s March 17 and 18. I’ll be at the one on the 18th. Yes, yes, yes.

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Foals-Spanish Sahara

This is the most beautiful music video ever created. The song is amazing, too.

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If you know me, you know that I have loved Jimmy Fallon since he debuted on SNL. You also know I love Robert Pattinson for his greasy hair and sexy British accent. So, naturally I think this is completely and totally awesome. I am not bothered by it at all.

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Filed under Giggles, Love