Crazy.

Crazy. That’s how I’ve been feeling lately.

I have so many ideas, plans, and dreams running through my head that I can’t concentrate. It sounds so trivial when you think about it. In my mind I’m ‘not experiencing life’ because my most recent idea of experiencing life is going places and doing things. In reality, you experience life everyday, with everyone around you and despite what I think, or you may think, everyday is an experience.  Life is a gift, and like with any gift, we must choose to use it, play with it, or just throw it away by thinking about what you could be doing, rather than what you are doing. I guess John Lennon had it right when he said, “Life is what’s happening when you’re busy making plans” or something like that.

Another thing that is making me crazy is apartment searching and the fact I’m still searching in Philadelphia.  I’m so ready for a big move somewhere, or for a ‘real’ job.  The whole college experience was great, for the first four years, now that I’m going into my fifth year I feel like I’m putting my life on hold.

I’ve been spending the summer at home with my family and it’s been amazing. I love being able to wake up and see my family everyday, despite working 40 hours a week. The one thing I can say for sure is when I’m spending time with people I love, it’s never a waste of time, so really I’m not wasting too much time this summer.

This is what I’ve been listening to today:

Dreamer.

Since I was a child I’ve always had dreams of what my magnificent, wealthy adulthood would be like. One day I’d dream of being  marine biologist working with dolphins at an aquarium, next  a Hollywood starlet, the day after that a Backstreet Boys backup dancer. Then one day it dawned on me, I wanted to be a journalist. I love discovering new things and telling others about it. I  love celebrity gossip, there’s just something great about exploiting their personal lives. Finally, I thought,  this could be my place in the world. Walking my dog through the Upper Eastside,  drinking lattes all day, and writing an awesome column (sounds a little Sex and the City, but I never actually watched the show).

My dreams change everyday. Why? Because I’m a dreamer. I spend all day and night dreaming about the places I want to go and the people I want to meet. Dreaming is a good thing, as long as I don’t lose reality, which sometimes I do. I have the next three months to do whatever I want with my life, and I’m going to do it. Rather than just thinking, and dreaming, I’m going to make my dreams come true. I challenge everyone to do the same. Stop just dreaming and start doing.

“ A dreamer is one who can only find his way by moonlight, and his punishment is that he sees the dawn before the rest of the world.”
Oscar Wilde